I Have A Story For You
Don’t worry… it’s a happy story. 🙂
A long long time ago… in a galaxy far far away… (…it was right there…)
Anyway, you might want to grab a box or two of kleenex and we’ll dive right in.
This story is about our favorite Photographer. As many or most of you know, he was adopted.
Christian’s story was always “I was adopted at 6 months old and brought to the North Shore by my adoptive parents, Darlene & Giles.” He did have a really good life with them, he was loved, cared for etc. But as I’m sure you could sense if you’ve heard his story, there was a piece missing. All the questions, “Why six months? What did I do that was so bad in six months? Did my mom even want me?” always spinning in the background. The anger, hurt, frustration and doubts were a very real part of his life. I can’t even imagine.
You might guess where this is heading… Well.. Minnesota changed some law recently, making it WAY easier for adopted people to find their original birth certificate. (It was apparently quite the process before). The Photographer and I had a little chat about it; and reached the decision that maybe knowing would be better than not knowing.. So, before this last Christmas, we did some homework.
Christian Dalbec was originally born, Stephen Backstrom. His mother, Barbara, passed away 30 years ago. But – surprise! – he has siblings! Three beautiful half sisters. The night we were looking in to the information on his birth certificate a friend/ sleuth of the Photographer connected him with the oldest of the three. They talked on the phone that first night for over 3 hours. The best part? The conversation started like this:
“Hello?”
“Christian? Dalbec?”
“Yes..”
“We have been looking for you for so long! I just want you to know, our mother loved you until the day she died. And she regretted having to give you up. She wanted you to have a better life, she was trying to protect you.”
** que ugly crying **
Yep. That’s the first phone call with sister Rachel. She was born 15 months after Christian. Then came Sara, brother Zeb (who passed away a few years ago) and Liza. It turns out Rachel had been looking for him for years after their mother passed away, but she never knew about the name change.
We’ve had many many amazing conversations with all of the sisters since that night. They all live in Colorado. So if you’ve been wondering why Christian disappeared from social media for a bit.. we took a really long drive! Christian said, “You know what, I need to go to Colorado and hug my sisters”.
Here is this beautiful family together for the first time:
It’s been quite the journey. Not just to Colorado this past month (that side of the adventure coming in another post). But meeting his biological family and developing real connections with them. It’s truly been so incredible.
Let me just tell you, The Photographer is a different man. He’s more settled and joyful. There was so much anger and hurt that he carried, learning the truth about his mother really changed everything. Instead of an existential crisis, it’s like an existential peace. Now his story gets to be, “I was born Stephen Backstrom. My mother Barbara gave me up for adoption because she loved me and wanted to give me a better life. I was adopted by Darlene & Giles, brought to the north shore of Lake Superior, was loved and cared for and given a good life.”
For those of you who are like me, we’ve always known where or who we came from, it wasn’t a question. I have my mom’s hands, dad’s nose, grandma’s love of baking all the cookies. At family reunions, I’m surrounded by people who look like me. I get to watch all those crazy humans and know in my bones; this is My crazy. I’m not sure the Photographer realized he was missing that in his life until we had the chance to experience it – His crazy! 😉 We learned he looks just like his maternal grandfather and has different food intolerances like his sisters. His family is full of talent, intelligence, laughter (I mean.. none of this is a huge surprise, right?!), they’re artistic, musical and so So loving.
I hesitated to write this story and share it with the world. It’s so personal and real and actually still fairly new. But the more we’ve talked about it – how life can be the same day to day yet feel so entirely different – the more we’ve realized, this is a story of hope. And everyone can use a little hope. There are answers, resolutions, guidance and support out there. There is hope.
We all need some kind of community around us. We need to find our people, biological or otherwise. That’s where you find hope and answers.
My guess is Christian’s art is going to change a bit – I think it already has in what I’ve seen that he hasn’t been sharing. It’s not like suddenly he’s changing art forms, it’s more subtle than that. There’s something new there. There is a brightness that I’m so excited for you all to see.
I foresee many more trips to Colorado, maybe we’ll even have some visitors up here in the Northland. (hint.. hint.. sisters…). The Photographer and I will definitely be getting out for some adventures in our neck of the woods. Maybe I’ll even go swimming this summer. You never know. We will absolutely keep you updated with all the fun along the way. (Keep your eye out for some fun studio openings as well!)
Take care, friends! We hope you enjoyed this little – super deep – glimpse into our lives.
Kara (& Christian)
Watch out for moose!
Colorado Moose 😉
I can’t help but leave you with some of the lyrics to one of our new favorite songs by Unspoken:
“You are loved
Chosen
Long before the day you were born
You are held
Forgiven
Treasured more than you’ll ever know
When the lies get loud
Let the truth ring out
Till the only thing you’re listening to
Is what He says about you”
33 Comments
Beth Brovold
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! What an amazing gift – I can’t even imagine what a blessing it is for Christian and his sisters to be connected after so long! Praying for many more wonderful trips – both ways – they definitely need to come and experience the North Shore in person! Much love to you both! Beth
Kara
Thank you! ♥️
Shanna Kruft
This story… so heart warming. Thank you for sharing this (I had no idea of the adoption). You have been blessed.
Katherine Hemric
What an amazing story. My husband didn’t know he had a daughter until about 6 years ago (she’s 49) so we know all the feels that come with that first meeting. What a blessing it has been to get to know her. Embrace and enjoy every minute. I can’t wait to see the amazing art that comes with this new adventure.
Mona Glesne
I’m so glad you’ve shared this story! It is wonderful and you described the before and after quite well. Onward to lots of love!!
Kara
Thank you! ♥️
Brenda Frikken
What a beautiful story❤️
JILL ANN HANSEN
I love how you write, Kara! Writing aout the photographer brings out all the love you have for him and soon for his sisters. This story is so touching and beautiflly written that it brings tears to my eyes. Bravo to the photographer’s lady!!
Mom
Can’t even imagine a better story to watch play out in front of our eyes. We love you both so much and treasure everything you have become.
Ruth Anne Jacobson
Beautiful story and beautifully written Kara.
Betty Perkins
I have watched every episode of “Long Lost Family”. I LOVE these stories of finding loved ones!! I am thrilled for Christian and his sisters – God is sooo good!!!!
Mary Shaal
I’ve been following Christian for several years because I saw the name Dalbec. My mother’s adoptive mother (the grandmother I grew up with) was a Dalbec by marriage. She and her husband owned a hotel in Grand Marais before they moved to Oregon. My mom grew up in Hovland. She also moved to Oregon and stayed after her fiancé (Loren Dalbec ) was lost in a plane crash in Lake Superior. I’ve often wondered if Christian was a sort of cousin 😏
Happy to learn of his reunion with these sisters.
He’s a very talented photographer.
Gwen
Oh Kara this is such beautiful writing and such a wonderful story/reality for you all! ❤️ Can’t wait to hug you two!!!
Jay Dillon
Beautiful!
Love you two!!
Dusty Nelms
Thank you for sharing this special story. I have admired Christian’s great photography for quite some time. I’m so glad his story has been a positive experience for all. Family is so important in one’s life. I hope they all can keep this good connection. And I look forward to seeing more of Christian’s beautiful photos.
Sandy Buss
The worst & best times are meant to be shared with family. I’m so happy that you/they found each other. It’s great looking at parents , grandparents and siblings seeing your face bit by bit in theirs.
Enjoy this, the best is yet to come.
Robin
OMG what an amazing story.
I can’t wait to see what’s next for his photograph and about family adventures.
Debbie Bergren
That is such a powerful story, especially of how finding himself in others has filled a gap in Christian’s heart. Jesus is so good!🥰
Lisa Michalski
Oh Christian and Kara!!! Happy tears to hear this news and the incredible blessing!! I am soooo happy for you Christian to have found your siblings and know answers to your questions! The Lord is good! Blessings as you enjoy getting to know your siblings!!
Jacklyn Ray-Hanson
You have no clue how much fun growing up with Chris and Heidi over the years!! Great memories spending timed at the Dalbec’s. Giles was a handsome hardworking man. Darlene also worked at the Bank downtown, and was such a wonderful mother and Homemaker. She’d flock her own Christmas trees and made homemade popcorn balls to hang on it. Best treats ever at the Dalbec’s were Oreos and fudge.. sliding down the stairs on cushions off the couch! Best Barbie swimming pool and much more. The Dahlbec house has many memories for the Ray family..
Paul Hagen
Well, where to start, maybe 8+ years ago when we brought a quiet 6 month old foster daughter into our home who eventually became our daughter. Then added a couple more, one arrived when she was 7 months old and our first kiddos bio brother arrived when he was 2 years old. We see lots of times and have lots of conversations about these issues even though they are only 7,7, and 9 we hoped it would help. Eventually as they get older to understand.
I’m glad Christian got the chance to learn about his other family. I’m glad he has the chance to have a family relationship with them as well.
Anisha Knatcal
Wow! I love this story, Kara! You told it beautifully! Hugs to both of you!
Chris
Thank you for sharing what is only the beginning of such a beautuful story! I stand on both sides of the adoption story; as a birth mom who eventually met my daughter, and as the daughter of a man placed in 1944, an era of shame, secrets, and no answers. My heart is so very happy for all of you and the peace that comes from knowing.🥰
Jeanne Nauman
Christian and Kara – such an amazing life story – and it’s just so filled with God’s story of love and redemption and grace. Can’t wait to hear more! And what a teaser on the art! Truly excited to see that too!
Sherry Lepacik
I am so happy for both of you, reading the story, which was wonderful by the way you have a gift.
I kept thinking how this must answer so many questions he has had his whole life. My deepest hope is that this brings him some peace, and joy because having sisters is wonderful. Also I can’t imagine what he can do with pictures of the mountains.
Cassie Ernest
This story is so heart warming, I’m so glad you shared that with all of us, it’s definitely worth sharing 💜
Deborah Winchell
Kara,
Beautiful story. It all makes perfect sense. No matter how much we are loved, knowing our roots and connection to our ancestors is the missing piece. Blessings to Christian and his sisters!
Wendy Zeuli
Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I have recently met up with my daughter that I was estranged from for 15 years due to a difficult divorce. I never gave up HOPE of being reunited with her and having a chance at being in her life again. I’m overjoyed for you to find your “crazy” called sisters. I look forward to more stories as you get acquainted and they visit Minnesota. NEVER stop praying, no matter how long it takes to get God’s answer. BTW, Unspoken is an AWESOME Christian group!!!
Sherry
What an amazing story. How kind of you to share it. Having adopted family members I’m not sure we truly understand their endless search to find out who they really are. Because we love them like our biological family, I’m not sure we understand why the need to keep searching tugs at them. I think this is just a human need. I am so happy Christian has found the happy ending. I wish you both a happily ever after.
Thank you for sharing this.
Sherry
Dave Hansen
See any good waves in Colorado? Asking for the artist formerly known as Stephen Backstrom.
Cindy Dullum
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. I’m sure it will bless many. We’re excited, too, to follow you in your journey. Christian’s photography….your writings….promise to lead folks to the hope within you! Jesus is all over you!
Hope to see you soon!❤️❤️❤️
Bobbi (Yeager) Williamson
Thank you for sharing this story. I’m so happy for you in finding your siblings.
Nancy(Waldron)Ammentorp
Beautiful story, so happy for you! Wonderful writing Kara. I love these happy endings. Many happy trips back to Colorado.